There are no Victims in My Life

THERE ARE NO VICTIMS IN MY LIFE

I am now willing to forgive myself . . .

for believing that I have the power to create victims.

We have all done something that has caused someone pain or discomfort. Often, we are aware of the consequences of our actions. Then there are those times when we don't have a clue about what we've done until someone brings it to our attention. When they do, we feel bad. We believe that we must forever be indebted to the people who have been the victims of our thoughtlessness, negligence or abuse.

You cannot see people as victims of something you have done. If you do, they will allow you to continue to feel bad. You cannot see people as victims of who you were or who you are. If you do, you are declaring yourself to be more powerful than you have a right to be in anyone's life. Seeing someone as your victim says that you are somehow responsible for what people believe and do. Thinking this way or feeling this way is going to cause you a tremendous amount of grief unnecessarily!

Regardless of the impact your actions have on anyone, they are not your victim! Think of it this way: we are all dancers in the ballroom of life. Some of us are accomplished dancers. Some of us can't find the beat. When you ask someone to dance, they, not you, choose whether or not they will dance with you. If you step on their toes, ask for forgiveness. Don't buy them a new pair of shoes! If the experience leaves them with the impression that life is not worth dancing, ask for forgiveness. Do not spend the rest of your life trying to force them to dance again! You have no victims! Ask for forgiveness. Makes amends if you can. Then, waltz away.

Until today, you may have believed that you would be forever indebted to others. Just for today, acknowledge those times you have been thoughtless, negligent or abusive to others. Forgive yourself. Ask for forgiveness and then continue to dance.

Today I am devoted to forgiving my errors and to acknowledging that there are no victims in my life!

From Until Today!
by Iyanla Vanzant

Your Daily Stimu eMail dated June 26, 2011 written by Ms. Iyanla Vanzant